Pink and Blue Singles Q & A
Question:
I discovered that I started developing feelings for my friend who asked me out. I think I want to say yes to his offer because I do not want to be like my siblings who at 30 have not yet married.
Answer:
Firstly, you know this your friend better than anyone else would do and would know if he is someone you would want to go into the journey of marriage with (you didnt mention if he is born again or not).
But then, there is a godly standard to a relationship. Before I go into all of that, let me ask you this food for thought question. Is your intention to say yes to this your friend based only on the fact that you do not want to end up like your siblings who are in their 30’s or is your decision going to be based on what God has to say regarding this person?
There are many factors to look out for and questions to answer before going into the journey of marriage with a person. Examples of such questions include:
- Is there purpose between the two of you?
- Do you share core values and goals?
- Will this relationship push you closer to God or would it distract your service to God?
- Do you have personality compatibility?
- Are your spiritual goals and faith in alignment?
Relationships are beautiful when done God’s way. That is why there is a popular saying, “look before you leap.” And this looking is not just on the outward but most importantly looking at the inward person and this can only been done when you let God handle it and put him in charge taking away your desires and what the world thinks or the fact that you do not want to end up like your siblings. Times and seasons are in the hands of God and he definitely knows his time for you to be joined with your rightful partner – Ecclesiastes 9:11.
If one is seeking God’s will about who to go into a relationship with, He will lead you to someone that is a true fit for you. I don’t mean that the person will be perfect or that you both will think alike or always agree on everything. That will never happen. But I do believe that if you seek God’s guidance, He will lead you to the person who is going to be the best match for you. I believe that God pairs us up with people that complement the gifts, talents, and personalities that He has given us if we let Him do so.
The bible says in Matthew 7:16 (NLV):
“You will know them by their fruit. Do men pick grapes from thorns? Do men pick figs from thistles?”
When He is the master of your ship, that ship will never crash. Now, that is God’s standard. But even if you want to look at it from the standard of the world, there are still factors to consider before wanting to say yes to this person. You would consider if he will be able to take care of you and the home you want to build together. Is he emotionally stable and not someone who would turn you to a punching bag in the future? Does he have morals that can sustain your relationship?
My dear sister, please don’t say yes to a person just because of the reason you gave. Look up to God to meet your desires. If this is the trend you have observed in your family, then you need to look into your foundation and do some deliverance prayers so as to cut off from the foundation of marital delay.
If you’ve questions, comments or contributions, send to happyrelationship@mfmyouth.org or drop it in the comments box.
Thanks and God bless.
Pink and Blue Singles 